looking through me

Tag: self-perception

run, run, run

It sounded like such a good idea when the middle and I decided to do a half marathon. He’s a runner. I am not. The good idea on my end was him coming for a weekend. The running part . . . not so much.

Upon arrival, he pointed out it was going to be quite cold during the race, perhaps I might want to purchase some appropriate clothing. It was an excellent suggestion. I bought everything he told me to.

As we made our way to the starting area on Sunday morning my fear of dying during the race began to grow. He kept offering tips such as, “eat the goo at the tables” and “don’t forget to drink water.” Water, check. Goo . . . goo?

When the gun went off it was 33˚F and the towering casinos lining the Strip would keep the course in shadows for hours. My frozen muscles felt as if they were ripping right off my bones. I gasped in pain and choked on the cold air.

He jogged beside me for a few yards before I mumbled something along the lines of “Go ahead. I’ll see you at the end.” And he was gone.

At mile one I wondered how disappointed he’d be if I quit. At mile three I thought I might not die. I drank water. I ate goo. I passed the run-through wedding chapel and dozens of running Santas. Viva Las Vegas. I’d pick a point, a casino entrance or a cluster of palm trees, and run for it. And then I’d repeat. Anything to feel like I was getting somewhere.

And then around mile seven I met Dupe. His wife of 43 years had left him in the dust about the same time my brother sprinted away. Of course he was in his 70s and had a few heart attacks under his belt while I was in my late twenties with a sound-ish medical history. We chatted and alternated jogging and walking.

Around mile ten I was itching to finish. But how could I leave Dupe? He offered to let me go ahead, but start with family, finish with new friend, no?

My brother had finished and was waiting at the finish line—snacks, water and jacket in hand—feet away from Dupe’s wife. We staggered over the line giddy to be done. Made our introductions, and then headed our separate ways.

We’d done it. The middle’s time was quite respectable—boast-worthy I thought—and I had a time, so I was happy.


This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

31 Day Challenge

Write about one topic every day for 31 days . . . really? That’s ridiculous.

Or maybe not.

Maybe if I whittled down to the core, if I sifted past the extraneous and found what remained, maybe I would find my foundation—the platform from which I write about all else.

And when I do, I find family.

Family. The thread running through all I am and all I do.

I was tied in at birth to an amazing collection of people united by blood and choice. Two generations above me two men opted out and two more opted in and adopted their stepchildren, my parents. Choices of inclusion craft the culture of welcoming people into our clan. I, too, view family as a hybrid of those we love because they’re ours and those we choose to declare ours because we love them.

Scrolling through the memories I see many other faces, many other names, fingerprints of many other sculptors who have shaped me.

This month is not a closed book. It isn’t comprehensive. Family can’t be constrained in 31 posts. But maybe, just maybe, I can capture a glimpse of how I see life through the lens of family.


 

Please feel free to bookmark this page for easy access to a running list of all posts this month. Or subscribe to receive an email for each new post.

Day 2: Great-Grandma
Day 3: Max
Day 4: aunts and uncles and aunts and uncles
Day 5: Fair?
Day 6: not even brothers
Day 7: Grandma’s face
Day 8: Saturday mornings
Day 9: special days
Day 10: home alone
Day 11: two are better than one
Day 12: unwrapped presents
Day 13: bird lessons
Day 14: family dinner
Day 15: the uncles
Day 16: the long walk
Day 17: backseat road trips
Day 18: perpetual cookie
Day 19: sharing Grandma
Day 20: driving with maps
Day 21: in the stands
Day 22: Grandma’s roots
Day 23: Oh, Brothers
Day 24: because
Day 25: Prayer Moms
Day 26: in-laws
Day 27: resident baker
Day 28: run, run, run
Day 29: O, Cousin(s), where art thou?
Day 30: like family
Day 31: done, already?

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.