looking through me

Tag: seasons

expected gift (in the living)

Five months and nine days—one hundred sixty-two days—after saying goodbye to Grandma we say hello to the newest member of the family: a baby girl.

This is life. In the goings and the comings. In the goodbyes and the hellos. Always dynamic, never static.

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl.

You are ours and we are yours. We’ve been waiting and praying for you longer than you’ll ever understand. Without you we weren’t complete—we may have thought we were, but we were not. That’s the beauty of this family. We long for the presence of each one. And now you are here, with us.

We will disappoint you and confuse you and frustrate you, but even in those moments I pray you will know how deeply loved you are. Because we have loved you, we do love you and we will love you. Period. You are loved. It’s a beautiful non-negotiable. It won’t be perfect—not a one of us is—but it will be constant.

It’s a great, big, scary, wonderful world you’ve entered. And I can’t wait to help carry you into it in our embrace.

Happy Birth, Baby Girl.

Love,
Aunt Kristen

 

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cold hands

The temperature difference between my icy fingers and the hot mug is too much. I set it down and cup my hands over it allowing the steam to warm them.

My shoulders ease back and my arms unclench from my sides as the chill dissipates. I raise the mug to my lips and take a sip savoring the warmth from the outside in and the inside out. That’s when I realize how much energy I waste on something as simple as cold hands—numb fingers sabotage my focus and productivity.

But it’s more than my hands.

Too often I curl into my core to retain what little heat I have left. Yet the chill in my heart isn’t caused by an external weather front or an antiquated heating system. It comes from my own choices to drift from the source, to set down the truth, to walk through my days unprepared, to rely on others’ ambient heat to warm me.

A cold spell settles in my soul, and I can’t grab the cup without getting burned. So I thaw out my heart on the steam—holding it open to the song or the verse or the confession. As my soul warms up I can grab hold of red-hot truth and drink it down.

 

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