looking through me

Tag: family

October 24, 2014

because

There’s something about the middle. He knows what needs to be done, and he does it.

Where did he learn this stuff? The eldest and I are very capable people. But we need a little more time. We need to research. We have to master a skill. There’s effort and work involved. The middle? He seems innately wired to do whatever needs to be done.

Need a new gate? He’ll build it. Lawnmower not working? He’ll fix it. Bloody wound? He’ll clean and bandage it. Need wedding pictures taken? Someone to barbecue? A room painted? A gun cleaned? A baby swaddled? He’s the man.

When I moved to Las Vegas, he and a friend packed my U-Haul. They came in to ask where the rest of my stuff was. They had it all. And oodles of room to spare in the truck. So they built a hanging system and organized all my clothes.

The move was two weeks before my birthday. And when the middle found out I would be alone in a new city he fixed that too. It’s not that he wanted to go to Vegas for the weekend or even that he cares much about birthdays; but when a thing needs to be done, he does it. I don’t remember anything about the weekend other than him installing a security lock on my apartment door and otherwise ensuring my new abode was up to his standards.

Because that’s what needed to be done.

 

This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

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October 23, 2014

Oh, Brothers

I don’t know what triggered it. One minute I was on stage practicing with the praise band and the next minute I was hiding in the choir room hugging my knees to my chest, eyes pressed into kneecaps—sobbing.

I heard the door open and close. I felt arms encircle me.

There were no words. She knew.

The eldest had moved away. The middle wouldn’t be moving back for a couple months. I was brother-less and lost.

Somehow I thought even as the adults we’d become we would land in the same place. I thought enduring the middle’s out-of-state college years was the end. But now—right before his return—the eldest had moved 400 miles away for grad school. And I realized he might not come back. This distance might be the new normal, and I didn’t think I could bear it.

I did. Barely.

We established new routines of visits and phone calls. When he finished grad school and chose to accept a job in his adopted locale, I’d almost become accustomed to the distance. And when I moved out of state, it was the brothers’ turn to visit me.

There was something I didn’t know that night in the choir room. I had no idea how adaptable and flexible and creative the three of us could be. And while I still hope we find a way to narrow the distance at some point, I’ve found the fear of distance to be hollow. I had no idea the elasticity of our bond.

 

This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

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