looking through me

Tag: faith

oceans

One song always evokes the same image in my mind: an old map. The kind with sea monsters lurking off the murky edges of a flat earth.

You call me out upon the waters / The great unknown . . . Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders*

Mysterious creatures hovering along the undefined edge of known reality waiting to swallow whomever dares cross the border of I’ve-got-this and this-is-bigger-than-me.

That’s where I say I’m willing to go.

Really? I, the one with a frustrating fear of heights and a great discomfort on open water, am ready to head into the vastness waiting to engulf me?

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

Fear. I understand fear. But You’ve never failed and You won’t start now . . . that’s true. Because fear has failed me. God has not.

It feels like the opposite. Fear feels like the sure thing. God feels like a risk. But fear doesn’t pan out, it doesn’t go down the way I anticipate—it deceives. God’s great faithfulness never wavers.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters / Your sovereign hand / will be my guide

True.

The sea is dangerous. The waters are deep and perilous. They could overwhelm me.

So I will call upon Your name / And keep my eyes above the waves . . . And my faith will be made stronger / In the presence of my Savior

No map—with or without monsters—will keep me safe or give me the courage to move beyond the shallows. No proper round earth understanding will teach me how to step beyond what my own abilities can support. The One who told the waters how far they could come, and no farther; it is He calling to me and leading deeper than my feet could ever wander.

Let me walk upon the waters / Wherever You would call me

 

* Hillsong United. (2013). Oceans. On Zion [song lyrics]. Hillsong Australia. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

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church

I was thinking about church this morning. Nothing specific. Just church. Such an innocuous sounding word yet freighted with meaning. Some days it’s a sucker punch and others a bear hug.

I’m not even sure of the definition . . . a place, a people, a concept, a way of life. It’s a very messy label. Like registration stickers on a car—layer upon layer of color peeking out from years gone by.

Maybe that’s why I have to fight the urge to qualify it: my church isn’t like _____, not all churches _____, my church doesn’t _____. Funny my qualifications are always based on what or who we aren’t.

And it is “we,” isn’t it? It’s the people.

When I hear the word, the initial mental flash is faces. Stories. Memories. Some colored by pain; others awash in safety. But it’s always people.

When it comes right down to it, the programs and the styles don’t mean much. The org chart and facility use agreements aren’t very important. When I’m flailing in an ocean of fear and doubt, it’s a hand, a hug, an ear, a word of truth I need. And when I’m floating in gratitude and peace, I need community just as much.

Theology matters. Statements of faith and church constitutions matter. They do.

But pieces of paper are not a church.

The church is the collection of people.

The Word came in flesh. God came. To people. To us. Emmanuel. God with us. That’s how He designed us, His people. To be together with Him.

We are the church. Collectively. One body, many members. We each need to give and take, serve and be served, share and receive. It’s “and,” not “or.” I cannot soak in without being wrung out; I cannot give what I’ve not received.

Why do I cringe and throw up semantic smokescreens over church? We are as imperfect en masse as we are individually—and we each layer on our own contexts and histories—but how marvelous we have one another to cheer us, to carry us, to teach us, to comfort us, to challenge us to hold unswervingly to the faith to which we were called.

The God who knew we weren’t made to be alone gave us not only Himself, but each other. I can live in that church.

 

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