looking through me

My mind roams. Something triggers a thought and I’m darting down a rabbit trail.

Recently in church I sang the line: “You make all things work together for my good.”[1] Words I’ve sung countless times. But this time they derailed me. I was off the path following a fresh set of tracks toward good. Easy? Comfortable? Understandable? Enjoyable?

And then I tripped on the me-centric nature of my words. Is “my good” really all about me? Is it painting a picture filled with my ideal outcomes? My blatant centrality in the emerging mental image made me pause.

Maybe my good is less like a pencil sketch and more like a pointillistic painting. It doesn’t take shape quickly or in sweeping strokes. It’s the compilation of individual, stand-alone dots that when taken together blend to form one image.

Maybe good in my life is more like a developing picture . . . the world’s slowest Polaroid. It won’t be fully focused and clear until the last moment.

But it’s more than that. I was thinking the image incrementally being revealed was of me. It’s my life, so it must be an image of me. But if I’m living the life I’ve been called to—the one working toward “my good”—then the image that will ultimately be revealed is of Jesus.

My life isn’t about me. I am the canvas and the paint—the tools for His self-portrait.

And if that’s the premise, the present and the destination, then it colors everything. It’s time to surrender my image of good and trust the Creator of good to develop a fuller, brighter, more nuanced and textured image in its place.

[1] Quilala, Chris. Your Love Never Fails. By Chris McClarney. Jesus Culture. 2010. CD.