looking through me

Tag: wonder

carpool lane debris

The seconds and minutes pass by at such a speed I miss most of them. A few noteworthy ones jump out, but most are behind me before I knew they were before me.

That’s life.

This morning an accident occurred miles ahead of me. I sat in one of the thousands of cars stuck in its wake. And as I inched along a stretch of freeway in single-digit miles per hour, I noticed the things I race by every other day.

Along the center median I saw a man’s dress shirt: white with blue stripes. How did a dress shirt come to rest on the freeway? Did it fly out a window? Or did paramedics cut it off someone at the scene of an accident?

For several miles I inventoried all the debris along the center divider. There must have been a story behind each blown out tire tread, hubcap and car bumper; but those were far less intriguing than the lid to the 52-quart Igloo cooler, the pillow or the shovel handle and thirty feet later the shovel blade . . . for a snow shovel. The six-foot metal pipe and the splintered two by fours seemed less out of place than the orange hard hat that was missing a quarter of its left side. And the foam insert for a microphone case and the cargo shorts—doesn’t someone need those?

As I noticed each item left behind—whether intentionally or accidentally—I wondered what I leave in my aftermath.

What stories are attached to the moments trailing behind me, the ones I rush past without a second thought day after day after day?

Sometimes I need an event out of my control to slow me down and give me space to notice the narrative I’m writing with my life.

 

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fall

The needle will nudge 85 degrees today, but I stepped outside and the morning air had a bite. My bare legs and arms sent a quick query to my brain: sweater? It’s been months since I’ve had such a thought.

Giant dewdrops weighed on the grass blades waiting to seep through my thin-soled flats. And it was natural moisture, not a leftover soaking from the sprinklers.

I started my car and flipped on the windshield wipers squinting as the sun refracted through the persistent dampness clinging to the glass.

It’s fall.

Memories flooded back of morning treks across the wet junior high field. Then stomping my dripping, grassy sneakers on the blacktop in a futile attempt to remove the clinging vestiges before my first period English teacher could send me back out to excise any evidence of nature that might soil her industrially linoleum-ed classroom. And a few years later standing on the soggy grass of the high school field, feeling the dampness work through my shoes during zero period. Before long I’d be peeling off layers and tying them around my waist as we ran through our field show. The cool air a mild relief from the exertion of marching and playing the flute.

Leaves might not change color and abandon their branches here. But—in a day—the easy-to-miss transition has brought cooler, damper mornings as we move a little farther from the sun’s scorching rays.

And the fingers of change give me moments to feel the shift in rhythm, to absorb what has been and is no more, what is still to come and what lingers on the fringes of possibility. Snippets of spontaneous reflection and reminders of lessons learned but forgotten sail in with crisper air.

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