looking through me

Tag: perception

wonder

As I sat in the left turn lane at a red light, two men in their twenties stood on the corner in the cool of the evening waiting to cross the street. The light changed, but they didn’t move. So strange. I looked closer and saw they were both looking up, necks craned, mouths slightly open, eyes wide, oblivious to the changing stoplight.

Then I realized it was 9:45. Fireworks. Close enough to feel each concussive blast reverberate through their bodies. Near enough to fill the sky with light.

I live in the shadow of Disneyland. The extra- wore off the ordinary long ago. Lost tourists, traffic backups and cast members walking to work in full costume are part of the scenery. What fades into the background for me is still magical for others.

The signal changed again, and I made my turn.

The men were still riveted on the corner as the fireworks reflected off their unblinking eyes. They were wholly enraptured, wholly in awe. Dazzling aerial explosions so captivated them that they forgot to cross the street and everything else.

But it took noticing them for me to notice the wonder. I would have missed it altogether if not for the anomaly of their astonishment standing out in my normal.

I have the opportunity to marvel every day. I live in the presence of wonder. I have a daily audience with Majesty . . . does anyone see my upturned gaze and follow it to Glory?

 

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fleeting beauty

In the stillness of dawn the thick crescent of a waning moon gleamed in the southern sky. Salmon pink streaks seeped through thin spots in slate-colored clouds to the east. And then they were gone, swallowed whole by gray.

My soul sagged. All week early morning fog shrouded the sunrise, but I thought today would be different. I thought today I would see the brilliance of daybreak. And I did. For fifteen seconds.

The wonder wasn’t minimized by its short duration. But too often I write off anything I can’t hold onto and return to time and again as unworthy of my attention, unworthy of my appreciation. I fail to see the value in the momentary. Yet . . .

Fleeting beauty is still beauty.

Twenty minutes later, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic—still watching the sky. The muted palette hinted at the mystery above it. Gunmetal gray places wore an extra blanket of insulation. Other areas were already shedding their covers and lightening to soft, dove grays. I could almost feel the sun’s rays tearing away the layers. Filtered light flooded through as water molecules gave way to the strength of the sun.

There in the thin places—that had ever-so-briefly been pink—I saw how beauty often appears first in the places I perceive as being not ready for display, incomplete, not good enough, temporary or unfinished. Yet they transmit glory. It might only last a moment, but it is real and it is good.

Maybe it’s the fragile strength of vulnerability—not perfection—that creates a canvas worthy of the Artist’s best work. In the clouds . . . and in me.

 

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