looking through me

Tag: hope

morning

The morning slips its finger under my chin and tilts my head to watch its silent show.

The dawn sky speaks to my soul as no other time of day can. Even mornings arriving cloaked in the pseudo-dreariness of gray. They are not silent, though a thick marine layer hides the display of light from view and insulates my little speck of earth in a safe cocoon. The colors are ratcheted down a few notches, the harsh edges are softened, the brilliance of the sun is filtered behind a soothing, blanket of gray.

A patchwork quilt of cloud wraps around me. We wait together with hushed expectancy.

The sun can no longer be held back. I peer through textured air. The veil of water molecules suspended in space overlays the trees and buildings in ethereal gauze even as light spills through its weakening defenses.

It’s a slow cleaving. One miniscule drop of condensation succumbing to the hot blade of the sun at a time. One ray of light slipping through the atmosphere—so direct I can see the line from it to me.

This sun comes closer . . . and the image shifts to that Son, the Light Himself, who loved me too much to remain at a distance. Full access to God meant the cleaving of the barrier to the holy of holies. Through the shed blood of Jesus safe passage to the Father has been restored.

So I embrace the gray mornings as a dim reminder of the Son’s unveiling of the Light—once . . . and for all.

 

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image vs presence

I find myself in a dichotomous gap between what I thought I knew and what is true.

Jesus had presence. But He fell short of the images people had of who and what the Messiah would be.

An image is a construct: a polished and shiny ideal built out of the bits of information available but mostly held together by the glue of generations reading between the lines.

When Jesus showed up, He didn’t fit the image. The clothes hanging so nicely on the manikin looked all wrong on Him. He wasn’t the presumed height and weight. His proportions weren’t perfect. The fabric didn’t lay quite right. The image needed serious altering.

But instead of seeing the flaws in the image, it was easier to find fault with the embodiment. It couldn’t be them; it must be Him. They’d spent years honing their mental construct. They couldn’t be wrong.

Yet even still they couldn’t deny His presence.

He was noticeable. He exuded authority. He demanded a response. But He never dictated the response. He was the ultimate respecter of free will. He still is.

And that’s where it gets personal. I’ve taken the easy road of shaking my head at Jesus’ contemporaries who missed the reality of the presence because they were caught up in the image of their own creation.

But am I any different?

Despite believing in Emmanuel—God with us, God enfleshed in man—I’ve still constructed an image. Instead of a physical being intruding on my mental image, I’ve looked past the very presence of the Spirit. He’s not a god I can visit and watch perform wondrous signs and then dismiss for failing to meet my expectations. He is God ever-present with me. Hemming me in behind, before, beside. And yet I overlook Him in favor of my construct.

I dare to wonder where God is as I search for the image I’ve pieced together instead of turning to the Presence that is very much with me . . . awaiting—but not dictating—my response.

He is not who I thought He was. He is who He is. Not my sketch, not my image, not my construct. He Is.

 

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