looking through me

Tag: family

aunts and uncles and aunts and uncles

Growing up I had a plethora of aunts and uncles. They had the title the moment I was born, but not for the same reasons.

Some were the siblings and spouses of my parents and grandma.

Others were the cousins of my grandpas. Perhaps it would have been strange to call men and women older than my grandpas Cousin.

And still others were friends of my parents and grandparents who had blurred the lines between friendship and family.

I understood the distinctions. I knew Uncle Brian was an uncle while Uncle Chet was some version of a cousin. And there wasn’t a hint of a bloodline with Uncle Earl, but it didn’t stop him from bringing me gifts from his trips around the world. I have a bell collection because of him.

Maybe I knew it didn’t matter when or why the label was affixed. It mattered only that it was held in place by love. Even the ones that passed as familial were often grafted in through marriage and step-ness and adoption higher up in the branches. Family is about more than the structure of the tree.

And it’s still true now as I climb the generations and gain new titles. I became Aunt Kristen first to the children of a friend and then to the children of my brothers. But I was no less an aunt. I’ve been to hospitals and birthday parties. I’ve walked crying babies and tickled bare bellies. I’ve doled out hugs and sat in kiddie chairs at kiddie tables. I’ve played on playgrounds and watched swimming lessons. All for nieces, and for nieces.

We’re family. And I love how open-armed our definition is.


 

This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Max

I loved Max. But he scared me, too.

He was so big, and I was so little. And no matter how much I believed he wouldn’t hurt me, and no matter how badly I wanted to play with him, I panicked when he got too close. He didn’t know his own strength.

So I ran. As fast as my short, toddler legs would carry me I ran to the tallest point in the yard. My 6’5” uncle.

I jumped on his feet and stretched up with everything in me willing his hands to reach down and pick me up. But he waited.

Every time he waited until Max’s giant, wet nose grazed the back of my head before he scooped me up into the safety of his arms. Out of the reach of Max, my grandparents’ St. Bernard.

No doubt it was a game in Max’s eyes. Less so in mine.

But I miss him still.

 


This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.