looking through me

Tag: family

Grandma’s roots

Going through some papers this summer a picture fell out. The date stamp on the lower right corner says 6 28 ’99. It’s the last picture of my grandma and her next oldest sister Dollie—they’re standing with their cousin Kay.

The picture was taken one year after Grandma and I visited Michigan. We ate and visited in that same kitchen with the bright yellow cupboards and walls and the stove that was rarely used. The good stove was downstairs in the basement.

I met countless relatives—too many now gone. We visited the old farmstead and made our way through chest-high weeds to the chicken coop. From there Grandma pointed out where the house and the barns and the one-room schoolhouse used to stand.

We traveled the narrow country roads to the village her parents retired to and visited the cemetery her sister who died in childhood was buried in, later joined by her parents and eldest brother. We drove to the neighboring town four miles away where Grandma attended high school.

Now I sit at my desk and I look back fifteen plus years. Two thirds of the people and the house are gone. Aunt Dollie within four months of that day; Cousin Kay a few years after that. Grandma celebrated her 90th birthday this year.

I still have Grandma.

 


This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

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in the stands

My brothers and I were pretty involved—we had full schedules from the time we hit kindergarten straight through twelfth grade: soccer, baseball, dance, softball, trumpet, piano, band, wrestling . . . plus school and church.

And somehow my parents were always there. I don’t know how they did it.

Especially by the time we were in junior and senior high. Our events often had conflicting times at far flung locations, when neither parent should have been off work. But they were there. In the stands.

A few times in high school as I took the field in softball, I’d think they weren’t coming, but then I’d hear my mom’s voice or I’d catch sight of my dad pacing behind the dugout.

I can’t think of a single time I was on the field or stage without one or both of them in the audience. I had the smallest clue at the time that their presence was significant and maybe even sacrificial.

But I did not understand the degree of schedule juggling and time it took for them to be at everything we did. I didn’t realize how many hours my dad worked after we’d gone to bed or before we got up—I’d see his bulging briefcase, but I didn’t grasp the volume he brought home so he could be present for us. I didn’t understand the dance my mom did to have meals ready when she’d just raced from work to a field somewhere to home and still dinner was on the table.

I didn’t know at the time their presence was short-hand for “I love you.”

 


This post is part of the 31 Days: Family series. Read the beginning, and see a full index of posts, here.

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