too much
by Kristen
The headlines are maddening. New—but not—every day. Shootings. Bombings. Protests. Finger pointing. Name calling. Scandals. Broken Promises. Natural Disasters. Wars and rumors of wars.
Even as I process the details I feel a little less shocked than I was by the last fill-in-the-blank atrocity.
I feel my heart hardening. Because how can I care about all of it? There’s simply too much. The scope is too big to swallow. The pain is too great to comprehend. It’s easier to look away.
Then I remember why I have to care.
I Skype with my long-distance nieces. I see the older one’s art projects and hear about soccer. I watch the younger one crawl for the first time.
I spend an evening with my local niece and nephew. I play make believe and Zingo. I throw paper airplanes and read stories. I give good night hugs and kisses.
And love roughs up my calloused heart.
Looking into the eyes of my brothers’ children I remember statistics are more than numbers. They have faces and names.
I check on sleeping children tucked soundly in suburban beds, and I think of how many children aren’t growing up in a safe place be it their home, their city, their country or their refugee camp.
The death tolls rattled off by the media rip un-mendable holes in families and communities whether it’s half a block from me or half a world away. And that doesn’t go away with the news cycle.
So . . . I listen and learn. I choke on the hatred and horror, but I don’t turn away.
So good, Kristen. I wrestle with all that constantly, too. And then I cry out almost daily, ” Come quickly, Lord Jesus!” And yet, not yet, there are still so many who are lost, utterly lost. I’ll bear it all another day – for their sakes. Thanks for putting into words, so eloquently, what many of us are feeling. Love you, Aunt Jill
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Yes, “come quickly, Lord Jesus”…and I’m so glad the timing isn’t up to me or for me to know! But I’m so glad Hope is coming again. Love you, too!
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